Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
