I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We have started to decorate penises.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
