i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
