note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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