she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Randomize
