did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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