You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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