He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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