I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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