I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
