You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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