You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
