No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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