he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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