He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
