So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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