but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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