Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
