Dual....:-)
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
