oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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