I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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