I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
