the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Sext me about skeletons
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
