we're blogging at a bar
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
