do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Man, jail baloney is awful.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
