Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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