i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
