I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
