..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
