Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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