we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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