You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
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if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
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I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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