dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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