We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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