Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
