I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
