she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Are my feet made of real feet?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
