bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
