What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have tasted many bathrooms
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
