I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
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Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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