No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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