so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
