A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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