I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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