and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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