That's intense
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
