So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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