sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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