O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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