she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
