Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize