I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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