The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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