i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We have so much sex to catch up on
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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