sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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