hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This baby is an asshole
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
