Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just found puke in my bra..
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
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I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
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The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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