i just wanna soil my oats bro
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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