plz talk dirty to me
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
zippers are such a cool invention
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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