I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i would one night stand the shit outta him
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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