either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
