She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize