I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize