i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Found the puke drawer
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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