Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
